Non-Verbal Doesn’t Mean Non-Communicative

Let’s bust a myth right up front: kids who are non-verbal are not silent. They’re expressive. They’re visual. They’re physical. They’ve got a lot to say — it’s just not coming out in full sentences.

Here are some ways kids may be telling you they need to go (or already have):

• Shifting from foot to foot
  
• Squatting or hiding
  
• Pointing to their pull-up or incontinence pants
  
• Signing, grunting, or vocalising
  
• Holding their front or bottom
  
• Leading you to the toilet
  
• Acting differently right before or after a wee or poo
  

You don’t need full speech to start toilet training. You just need a communication plan that works for your child.

Ditch the “Yuck” Talk — Language Matters

Even if your child isn’t speaking, they’re always listening. And they’re absorbing how you talk about their body and their needs — especially in moments that feel vulnerable, like leaks or messy clean-ups.

That’s why it’s important to keep your language respectful, simple, and neutral.

Instead of this:

• “Poo is gross!”
  
• “Yuck, what a mess!”
  
• “You’re too big for nappies.”
  

Try this:

• “Looks like you did a poo. Let’s clean up.”
  
• “You did a wee/poo. That happens. Let’s try again next time.”
  
• “Your body’s learning, and you’re doing great.”

The goal? Build trust. Not shame. Your child should feel safe asking for help (in whatever way they can), not afraid they’ll be judged for what’s natural.

Visual Aids: Their New Best Friends

If your child learns best through pictures, routines, or repetition — you’re not alone. Visual aids are a game-changer in the bathroom.

Try using:

• Toilet routine charts: Pictures showing each step (pants down, sit, wipe, flush, wash hands)
  
• Visual timers: Help them know how long to sit on the toilet
  
• Picture cards or PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System): For “toilet,” “all done,” or “help."
  
• Signs or hand gestures: Consistent, clear, and repeated
  
  

📥 You can download free visual toilet training charts from places like Autism Talk.  

Stick visuals at their eye level, especially in the bathroom and bedroom. Practise using them together during calm moments — not just in the rush of a leak. 

Communication Is More Than Speech

Toilet training success doesn’t mean your child says, “Mum, I need the loo, please.” It might look like a tap on the wrist, a trip to the bathroom door, or a little dance on the spot. All valid. All important.

You’re not just teaching them how to wee on the toilet — you’re also teaching them:

• How to recognise the body’s signals
  
• How to ask for help
  
• How to follow a multi-step routine
  

And those skills stick, even if verbal language takes longer to come. It’s not about forcing talking. It’s about offering tools.

Help Parents and Carers Tune In (Not Talk Over)

Sometimes, it’s tempting to fill every silence with explanations or encouragement. That’s totally human — and you care deeply. But in toilet training, pauses are powerful. They give your child time to respond in their own way.

Here's how to tune in:

• Count to five before repeating a question
  
• Look at your child’s body language instead of just their words
  
• Use one instruction at a time (“Pants down” instead of “Okay, now pull your pants down, sit on the loo and then we’ll see if anything comes out!”)
  
  

Supportive adults can say:

• “You’re pointing to the toilet. Let’s go.”
  
• “I see you’re crossing your legs. Time for a toilet break?”
  
• “Do you want help or do you want to try on your own?”
  
  

You’re their guide — not their narrator. Let them lead.

Real-World Scripts (From Families Who Get It)

Here’s how a few parents and support workers reframe common toilet training moments:

👨👦 Parent with 4-year-old autistic child, non-verbal:
Before an outing:
“Here’s your toilet card. We’ll go now before we put shoes on.”
Child taps the card. They go together.

👩👩👦 Mum and support worker with 6-year-old with developmental delay:
At school pickup:
“Did you do a wee today?”
[Child doesn’t respond.]
“I’m going to check your pants just to see.”
Calm voice, no fuss.
“Dry! That’s great. If you need a wee soon, show me the toilet picture.”

👨🦱 Dad with 5-year-old using a visual chart:
Child starts dancing around
“Toilet time?”
They point to step one on the chart and head to the bathroom.

These scripts aren’t perfect. But they’re real, adaptable, and built on respect.

Product Support Can Help Too

While your child is learning the ropes, you need leak protection that keeps up — without adding bulk, stress, or shame.

Nundies pull-ups are:

• Easy to pull up and down (especially during practice)
  
• Soft and comfy for sensory-sensitive kids
  
• High absorbency for when timing is still tricky
  
• Available in different sizes for all ages
  
  

All Nundies pull-ups are dermatologically tested and CE marked — safe and comfortable for everyday use.

Plus, we’ve got a team of real humans (some with lived experience) ready to help if you ever want to swap, size up, or ask a quick question.

💬 Need help choosing the right size? Contact the Nundies team here.

Support Services for Families in France

You’re not doing this alone. Here’s who’s in your corner:

• Autisme France – autisme-france.fr
  National advocacy and resources for families and autistic children.

• Autisme Info Service – 0800 71 40 40 / autismeinfoservice.fr
  Free helpline and guidance on toilet training, communication tools, and everyday challenges.

• Fédération Française des DYS – ffdys.com
  Tips and tools for supporting neurodiverse children, including routines and visuals.

• MDPH (Maison Départementale des Personnes Handicapées)
  Local offices that help families access disability-related support and funding.

• SESSAD (Service d’Éducation Spéciale et de Soins à Domicile)
  Specialised support services that can help with routines like toileting and hygiene.

Final Word

Your child is already communicating. You’re already listening. And that’s what makes you the right person to support them through toilet training — no matter how long it takes or what it looks like.

With patience, visuals, the right tools, and lots of gentle encouragement, your child can build bathroom confidence on their own terms.

Try Nundies risk-free.
If it’s not the right fit, we’ll help you swap or refund — no stress, no shame.