If your child has ever looked you in the eye and said, “I’m not a baby,” while you reach for their pull-ups—that’s totally normal. It’s them trying to tell you that they’re a big kid now, and a sign that they’re owning their age.

Whether your child is five, nine, or well into their teens, needing incontinence pants doesn’t make them a baby. But when the words we use don’t reflect their age, maturity, or growing independence, it can make them feel younger than they are.

Why Language Really Matters

Swapping a word here or there may not seem like much — but for a child who's already self-aware, every word is important. When kids hear terms that feel babyish, especially when talking toilet time, feelings of shame become more noticeable. 

That’s why using age-appropriate language for pull-ups matters. Choosing words that respect their age, helps them feel seen and understood — not singled out or left behind.

What to Say (and What to Swap)

You don’t need to rewrite the whole parenting script — just tweak a few lines. Little changes can make a big difference in how your child feels about themselves and their routine.

Here are some common phrases to rethink — and what you could try instead:


Instead of: “Let’s put your nappy on”
Try: “Time to change into fresh undies.”

• Calling it a “nappy” can feel babyish to older kids — even if they’re still wearing one. Using words like “undies” or even “Nundies” (our personal fave), makes it feel more like an everyday part of growing up, not something that sets them apart.
  
  

Instead of: “Do you need to do a wee-wee?”
Try: “Do you need to use the toilet?”

• Little-kid terms like “wee-wee” can be frustrating for kids who are trying to feel more their age. Keeping it simple and direct helps reinforce that they’re being spoken to like the big kid they are — and that’s empowering.
  
  

Instead of: “Oopsie!”
Try: “Let’s get cleaned up, no stress.”

• Mistakes happen — and drawing attention to them with a word like “oopsie” can make it feel bigger than it needs to be. A calm response helps your child move on without feeling embarrassed.
  
  

Instead of: “Good boy/girl!”
Try: “You handled that really well.”

• Praise is great — but when it sounds overly babyish, it can have the opposite effect and feel sarcastic. Instead, use encouraging feedback to help build self-esteem without talking down to them.
  
  

These small swaps can go a long way in helping your child feel respected and empowered. When kids have a say, they feel more in control — and that’s a win all round.

Let Them Take the Lead

If your child is resisting certain words or routines, take that as a sign of them wanting more independence. They’re showing you they’re ready to take charge and grow into their big kid shoes. And that’s a great thing.

You could ask:

"Do you like it when I call it a 'nappy'? Shall we pick a better word for it?"

This isn’t about sugarcoating it. It’s about giving them a voice and a sense of ownership over their journey.

It’s Not Just What You Say — It’s How You Say It

You could say all the right things — but if the tone feels off, your kid will pick up on it.

That soft, sing-songy “toddler voice” might be comforting for little ones — but for a big kid trying to feel grown up, it’s a fast track to frustration.

Keep your voice relaxed. Your tone should sound calm and casual, not serious.
 

Try things like:

• “Let’s grab some spare Nundies before we go.”
  
  
• “Just a quick change and we’re good to go.”
  
  
• “I packed your Nundies just in case.”
  
  

It’s all part of creating positive toilet routines for older kids — ones that feel calm and easy.

No pressure, no fuss, and absolutely no shame. Just one more thing they’re learning to handle, their way.

Help Them Find Their Own Words Too

It’s not just how you talk about it — sometimes, kids don’t know how to talk about it themselves. And that can make things feel even trickier.

Giving them a few simple, age-appropriate phrases can help them navigate school, social situations, or just day-to-day life with more confidence.

Some examples include:

• “Can I use the bathroom?”
  
  
• “I need to change.”
  
  
• “I wear these to help with leaks”
  
  
• “I’ve got my extras with me.”
  
  

And if they’re not ready to talk about it? That’s no big deal. Just knowing they can talk about it — and that you’ll always have their back — is more than enough.

Style and Comfort Matter

If your child complains that their pull-ups look babyish, even the most encouraging words won’t fix how they feel.

Let them choose pull-ups in their favourite colours. Lay out their options with the rest of their clothes. Let it become part of their routine, not something hidden or whispered about.


And if you’re looking for an option that’s made to look and feel like real undies, Nundies Youth Pants are here to save the day. Because helping older kids boost their confidence wearing incontinence pants, isn’t just about the fit — it’s about how they feel in them.

Lifting Them Up, One Word at a Time

When your child says, “I’m not a baby,” they’re asking to be seen for who they really are — someone who’s growing up, learning, and still figuring things out.

The words you use, the tone you take, and the routines you build can either lift them up — or hold them back.

So let’s choose the ones that lift. Let’s shower them with language that makes them feel loved, confident and capable of anything.






Disclaimer:

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or your child’s health. Never ignore professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you’ve read here.